Let me speak about love.

Not the filtered version. Not the performance.

The most misused word on Earth.

It’s used to justify manipulation – because we’re family

To soften betrayal -  I didn’t mean to hurt you

To excuse years of silence, lies, and half-truths – but I love you.

To cover up fear with declarations – you are the most important person in my life – while actions say the opposite.

We don’t love others all the time.

We love how they make us feel – when we haven’t yet learned to love ourselves.

Love is not a verb. It’s not a promise.

It’s a frequency.

You don’t “love” someone while actively hurting them.

You don’t get to hide behind your wounds and expect the other to carry your weight.

Yes, there are moments when we embody love, fully.

But most of our days, we don’t.

We are grasping, performing, negotiating – trying to feel safe through roles, relationships  and proximity.

So next time you say it’s “out of love”,

ask what condition is behind your gesture.

And when you don’t act from love,

Watch where you project your shame or guilt onto the one who sees you.

No matter how small or insignificant it sounds in your mind.

Stop using love as a shield for unresolved pain.

Stop using relationship as a container for selfish - or caring - games.

Unconditional love is what we all long for,

But it terrifies us to give,

Maybe even feels impossible to receive.

Because it demands transparency and intimacy - not comfort.

Ownership - not excuses.

Me included.

Real love asks us to do inner work.

Relentlessly.

Refined.

Without hiding behind the word love.